my best friend in the world lost her dad yesturday. Sunday, October 24th.

"how can you feel it"
when death surrounds me, i don't know how to feel
i can't see behind me, i don't know if this is real
i'm lost so deep within, lost from what i can't understand
i keep things locked inside, so she doesn't see my tears
i know these things happen, but it's something i can't comprehend
I feel strength, i feel love, i feel lost, i feel helpless
my strength overwhelms me when i am around her, she is so strong
alone i am weak
when will the shock subside, when will i cry
when will i let out the feelings i've locked from my eyes
i'll always be there for her-i love her more than anyone
she's everything to me.

Okay, so, i'm not a writer get over it. She hasen't seen this yet, and she might just have to stumble upon it because I don't know if I will tell her--it's not very good.
Yesturday we went to the Mall to get our Breaking Benjamin tix, and we hung out for a while, she left my house at like 5:40 to go eat dinner... She called me a little after 6 and told me (but I couldn't really understand her) she just wanted me to come to the hospital. I went there, found out, and we talked for a while... after that I went back to her house with her and I stayed there until a little after midnight... or maybe 11 something, I'm not really sure. I came home, watched a movie with Shaun, and went to sleep at 3.30am... I cried myself to sleep. I can't beging ot fathom not seeing someone again, death is very very hard for me... I don't realize it for a while... kinda like "shock". I'm in that stage right now.... sometime I will break down and cry, probably for a long while. Okay... there I go... might write more later...
Love you all~heather