I haven't bloged much lately (for a few months i suppose) which I find sort of amusing seeing as I've had a lot to say, just haven't had it in me to get on here... Here are a few things I've heard... learned about.... felt... or loved...:

The Devils Rain-This is what it's called when it's pouring and the sun is shining.... and having a convertible, it means a lot more to me Rain is beautiful.... and if I didn't have to let my ass get soaked, I would love to ride with the top down. Aside from all of the other aspects of Devils rain.... the rain that is continuing to pour outside is quite nice.... it's been a while since I danced... so I did.... alone.... to the song "Collide" by Howie Day.... "Even the best fall down sometimes... even the wrong words seem so right...." this song reminds me of a man in my life right now.... namely, Jake. I think him as my Superman... the man that knows everything, that can do anything, and that make me feel better than anyone else.... and he's not around me right now.... I don't know how long i can take being without him... without talking to him... and just leaving him alone.... but I have to if i want him to be with me.... I should have started bloging about this when it first started.... maybe it could have been easier. Tomorrow he turns 23, and I might not even be able to tell him "happy birthday"... but I guess that might be what he wants.

"Let him knock you off the ladder-you'll climb back up"- Of course I will.... I'm a very strong woman... not physically, but emotionally. I'm one of the strongest women I know. I do cry a LOT.... but it helps me to deal with things and gets anger out of me... maybe more people should cry.

Last Saturday- My boyfriend wants "Space", my father comes home drunk yelling at me, my mom and i get into a physical fight- did i mention I'm not a fighter... so.... in lu of all that happened (and oh, my, god, was i dealing with EVERYTHING the wrong way--s t r e s s i n g) I had an AWESOME night that night. Janel picked me up and took me to my first mud run-with my friend Deppe (jessica).... Jake was there, but ignoring me (or I, him) but in spite of all of that, it was great. I played in the mud, talked to a lot of people I haven't seen in a LONG time, and damn I looked good. Too bad Jake didn't get to see me then! I had on my favorite jeans--my favorite b/c of the way I look and how I feel in them-some Kyle guys shirt-sleeves rolled under, and tied in the back-yep, showed my tummmy-i was feeling good. I had my hair in wrapped pig tails--messy and cute! Hope you got how I looked, b/c it was one of the last times I felt awesome. Next chance I get to go to a mud run--i'm defanitly going.

Letter By Hour- Great band... very local, friendly boys (check them out at www.purevolume.com ) Those are some awesome dudes... I was supposed to go see them tonight, but their show got canceled--so i'm bumming. I hung out w/ them the other night and had so much fun! Hopefully I'll be seeing them tonight... it's Janel's birthday and we are all going out too... so that's awesome.

I've been hanging out with a lot of people from work lately... they are keeping me busy, and I like that. Occupy's my mind from the subject of current sadness....ha I have also been driving the shit out of my car.... I looove to drive, and at $2.29 a gallon, i'm spending more money on that than I am on food.... Jeeeeze. I went and bought the Dan Dyer CD-"...from what lies beneath" (again) and "The Village" and "Closer"... that movie is so great. That chick "Alice" really reminds me of myself... if you saw it, that's me.... She loves him and loves him and loves him.... then, suddenly... out of nowhere, can let him go. (sorry if i ruined it for ya). It's Natalie Portman.... she also reminds me of myself in "Garden State".... thats a good one too....

I suppose that I will go for now... hope all is well with anyone reading this.... it will be for me... sometime... hopefully soon.... I love my boyfriend and would like to continue what I had going with him.... I miss him so much....

All of mine-~Heather